fam•i•ly: n., but best as a verb

Though it seems at odds, a funeral is an affirmation of life.
Three generations have gathered for my dad’s funeral today. Proof that he lives on.
The last big draw was brother Angelo’s wedding in September. The one good thing about our family’s embarrassingly high divorce rate is more weddings.
I don’t know what it says that a happily married couple of 59 years should produce four children who have been married a total of eight times. Perhaps they set too high a standard. To their credit, mother and dad never held it over our heads we had failed as spouses.  I think they were happy we kept trying to get it right, and not give up on love.

WEDDINGS and funerals are pretty much the only way we gather en masse. We’re all in a line of work when holidays are our busiest.
My cousin Christina and her siblings have set up a routine where they visit over the Internet at 5 p.m. every Sunday. She, her sister and their dad live in California, while one brother is up in Alaska with the National Park Service and the other over in Bangladesh working for Chevron.
At the appointed hour, they pour a cocktail and dial in, so to speak. They catch up on each family’s activities, health concerns, etc., while their children and spouses pop in and out of camera’s view.
My side of the family isn’t as disciplined, but it sounds like a good idea.
I’m sure mother and dad would be fearful of us siblings drifting apart. She was the master organizer and worked hard to have our vacations overlap by at least a few days so we could gather at the family cabin.
We have a couple of things on our side to keep us in the loop, including nine children of whom all but two are of marriageable age.
The other is realizing how precious a family is. My brothers and I share a lifelong history unique only to us. We are kith and kin —friends and family.
Mother taught us that to keep that feeling alive, you have to be intentional. Kind of like the Marriage Encounter adage, love is a decision. Attend the funeral, the wedding, and the family reunion. Good intentions are no substitute for being there. Decide to be a family.
When we celebrate dad’s life today the words we’ll say are for the benefit of others, because for the most part what we have between us need not be spoken. A look, a hug, a squeeze of the hand will convey the myriad feelings we are experiencing at this time of loss. We are family. And we will be there for each other, no matter what.